WEMOOCH

Bohol is a pretty big chunk of the Visayan group of islands in the middle of the Philippines. It's the tenth biggest island in the country. Pretty much attached to it but not quite is a much smaller island called Panglao. Yonks ago Panglao was home to loadsa people covered in tatts called Pintados. Even though Bohol was way bigger, these trendier islanders decided to invade it and turn the Boholanos into slaves. After the invasion, the Pintados created the 'Bohol Kingdom'.

I'm glad I didn't bump into any of those Pintados because they sound well hard. I did see loads of white people with loads of ink wearing wife-beaters though. At first, I thought they might have been related to the Pintados but then I overheard one of them saying he was Australian.

What's the point in even going to Bohol?

Well, there's loads of weird-looking hills in the middle of it called the chocolate hills. I thought it would be like a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory type thing with chocolate trees and stuff. When I got there it wasn't anything like that, just hills with no trees. They're called chocolate hills because they're brown but when I was there, they weren't, they were all green. Think it might have been a wind-up.

Also, if you're into beaches then Bohol is brilliant. The most popular place is Alona Beach in Panglao. It's a good area for diving but I'm not a great diver, I always end up belly-flopping. It was a bit too busy for me though, I prefer Doljo over the other side. Alona does have loads of places to eat and drink though and is lively at night time.

Photographing Bohol

If you like taking pictures then you should look for a tiny monkey called a Tarsier. It's the smallest primate in the world and from what I saw, probably the ugliest as well. It's got proper massive eyes and looks like it's freaked out all the time, a bit like a miniature furry E.T.

I followed the coast of Bohol all the way around on a motorbike, spending about a week staying in different places and taking photos. My favourite spots are Anda in the East and Tubigon in the West.

Like I said above, the Chocolate Hills are supposed to be famous, but I preferred the bike journey on the way more than the hills themselves. You get to pass through local villages and give the kids hi-fives and stuff.

Completely Useless Facts about Bohol

• Bohol is one of seven big islands of the Visayans. Along with Cebu, Leyte, Masbate, Negros, Panay, and Samar. There are several hundred other smaller islands that makeup Archipelago too.
• During the 12th century, some of the Visayan people raided loadsa places on the south coast of China. They were proper hard and when the Chinese heard they were coming they cacked themselves and legged it.